Emotional Responsibility 201

Let’s get to the next level of emotional relationships in 2021

Photo by The HK Photo Company on Unsplash

A while back, I wrote this article that then became this zine about understanding emotional responsibility, beyond the concepts of fault and duty. “Emotional responsibility” is the term given to the practice of believing that only the experiencer of an emotion can really change that emotion. It is both true, and complete and utter bullshit, for a variety of reasons:

1. First of all, no one can force you to feel anything, and you cannot force anyone to feel anything. This is true.
2. Beyond that, emotional responsibility is an utter and complete cop-out from accountability and understanding the impact of one’s actions.
3. If we want to get all spiritual about it, literally everything is just you, so it doesn’t matter if the change seems to come from “you” or from “someone else,” it still comes from you. Therefore, the whole concept of “who should take responsibility” is moot.

Here’s the truth that preachers of emotional responsibility don’t want you to know: responsibility is not cut and dry. Responsibility is just response-ability, ability to respond. We are all able to respond to ourselves, and to others, in different ways. In every situation, we have the ability to both respond to our own…