Hi Readers, an Update
Sorry it’s been so long…
Hi readers,
This is not a proper article, at least not in the sense of what I usually write on Medium. It’s just a personal update, since it’s been so long since I’ve posted here and I wanted to explain why to anyone wondering where I’ve been lately:
I didn’t have any intention of dropping off the face of the Internet for the past two months, it was just that life got very hectic. Not bad, just chaotic. I finished massage school and my graduate school semester, sold my car, bought a van, moved out of my house in Vermont to a friend’s property in New York in the middle of nowhere where I intended to live in a tent and work on my van for the summer, unexpectedly fell in love back in Vermont, found out my tent was not waterproof nor tick-proof, moved back to Vermont, got my heart broken, finished building my van while living in a friend’s closet, started seeing someone else that also became quite intense and emotional, went back to New York, got very sick, the floods came through, I finished my van build, came back to Vermont to do flood relief work, went through another break-up, and now I’ve finally got functioning electricity in my van and the ability to sit down and open my computer for a bit.
So. Hoo-ee. Finally, an exhale.
Today is the first day in a very, very long time that I’ve had reliable Internet and a somewhat clear head. Between the stress of moving around and quasi-houselessness, two back-to-back relationships, illness, a natural disaster and building a home while I’m living in it, all in places with little-to-no cell phone service or wifi, it’s just been a bit hard to keep up with writing. It’s also hard to feel creative when you’re in survival mode.
Right now, I’m getting grounded again, coming back to center, and re-finding my voice. I hope to be writing a lot (a LOT) over the coming weeks. I have a lot I want to say these days, about climate change and the floods here in Vermont, about love and loss and energy, about miracles and alchemy, about community and autonomy, about everything. I have a phone note filled with article ideas that have just been gestating in the back of my mind until things are calm enough to actually sit down and write.
I hope, now, that I am at that point of stability, at least to an extent. I find myself feeling insecure about writing today, and it’s probably going to take me a bit to get back into the swing of things and feel confident in my voice again. I feel so much resistance to even opening Medium and typing. The next few things I write may not be that good, and that’s okay. I’m feeling that uncomfortable lightness in my stomach even just writing this, and this is just a note.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in recent years, it’s that that pang of resistance is a great sign that you’re doing exactly the right thing. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Do it because you fear it. That’s what I’m going for now, at least.
I’ll try to get back on here later today to write something proper to put out tomorrow or Tuesday, but I first need to write some cover letters since ya girl’s broke and needs a real job again. I don’t write here to make money, but if you want to donate to my Patreon that’s always welcome. Given the current state of my bank account, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it. If you don’t, that’s also fine, and I’m very happy to have you here all the same.
As a last note, I sometimes flounder for topics to write about. I have several piled up right now, but if you’re a regular reader (or a first time reader) and you’re curious about my thoughts on any particular topic you want me to address, feel free to let me know. If it resonates, I’d be happy to take a suggestion or two on things to write about.
That’s all for now. Some real writing will come soon, quality or otherwise, and hopefully I won’t be offline for this long again anytime soon.
Much love,
Anna
