Is It Awakened or Abusive?

How to stop using spirituality to bully people

Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

There’s an unfortunate pattern on the part of many individuals within the spiritual, self-help and conscious evolution communities: that of using our awakening to bully other people who aren’t like us.

We regularly shame, criticize, argue with or try to control people in our lives who aren’t on the same path as us because we feel such pain at their unconsciousness. We don’t do it consciously, of course, which is why it can sometimes be hard to tell: am I awakening, or am I using my “awakening” to bully other people?

The answer is quite simple. If you are reflecting your lessons upon yourself and your own behavior, you are awakening. If you are projecting the lessons onto others, you are likely going to get abusive.

For example, let’s say you are in the midst of a personal awakening about emotional responsibility. You’ve realized that people are only really able to respond to their own feelings, and that this pattern of expecting other people to be responsible for your emotional needs is toxic and harmful. Once you recognize this, you start noticing the pattern everywhere. You notice that all kinds of people in your life are projecting onto you all the time, refusing to be responsible for themselves, and you’re constantly being asked unfairly to…