The (Not-So-Surprising) Way Patriarchy Blocks Women’s Spiritual Growth
Men are not, in fact, God.
Lately, I’ve been taking a much-needed break from dating. This reprieve from self-imposed pressure to be attractive and charming (or even social) has given me the chance to really look at my last relationship. It’s been hard to look at. The timing of when it ended relative to other upheavals in my life meant I didn’t have the chance to emotionally process why that relationship went so wrong. More likely, I did have the chance, but I just wasn’t ready to look at my own behavior until now.
When I reflect on our whirlwind meeting now, I see two very lost and lonely people who clung to each other like life rafts, each expecting the other to be the boat. Somehow, the task mainly fell to me. I was the one to chart our direction, to figure our lives out, to plan and execute everything, steering and navigating not only for myself but carrying his unwieldy weight with me.
Over the yearlong course that relationship took, I became all manner of the worst things I can be: controlling, irritable, resentful, critical, at times even crossing into emotionally abusive. As both cause and response, he was (in my opinion) many of the worst things he could be: lazy, withdrawn, reactive, incapable of proactivity or of handling anything.
